2013 Golden Globes: The Good, the Bad and the Hideous

I don’t know what happened. Clearly, my invitation to last night’s ceremony was misplaced in the post. I’m only mortified. And there was me with my haute couture freshly pressed and the hair done.  I’ll be sending a sternly written letter regardless, with my address clearly printed on the top so we don’t have the same problem next year.

The 2013 Golden Globes managed to go ahead without me though and as with every awards ceremony, the dresses came in all shapes, sizes and intriguing patterns. The ladies donned their finest frocks, while the men threw on their penguin suits and didn’t think twice about it. All the while, I looked on, with just the tiniest bit of drool escaping from my mouth.

To the following ladies who got it so right, I salute you.


Anne Hathaway


Well she wore classic Chanel, so she couldn’t really go wrong. With that said though, I am equally as pale as she is, but if I tried to wear white I’d look ill.

Claire Danes


I saw somebody complaining on Twitter last night that Claire Danes practically had her baby in the car on the way to the awards and she still managed to turn up looking like that.

Kate Hudson


The more I look at this dress, the more I love it. So glam. Twiggy bitch.

Michelle Dockery


Few could pull this off, by Michelle wears it beautifully. In fairness, she could turn up in a pair of net curtains and she’d probably still look amazing.


Given that the dresses on the red carpet generally attract more media attention than the actual awards, you’d think that there wouldn’t be so many fashion fails. Yet, the failures were in abundance.

Lena Dunham


Now Lena, is this really the nicest dress you could find? Really?

Cody Horn


This would probably actually look alright if it wasn’t for that ridiculous looking piece of material going across the top. A pair of scissors and we’ll have this one sorted out.

Sienna Miller


Sienna, in what mirror were you looking before leaving the house last night?

Lucy Liu


Now in Lucy’s defense, I think this would make a beautiful duvet cover. It just doesn’t make a good dress.


Halle Berry


No Halle. Just no.

On another note:

Thank you Adele for making me roll around laughing at your hilarious acceptance speech, which you can watch here.



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