A Lesson in Driver Etiquette: How not to be an arsehole on the roads

7231120-cartoon-carLiving in the country, miles from work and many many miles from college, means I do a lot of driving and all this driving has resulted in me making a chilling discovery; drivers can be arseholes. In fact, there’s been times I’ve been tempted to pull someone over and perform a citizens arrest on them because these people clearly do not know how to drive. But fear not friends, it’s very easy to not be an arsehole.

So without further ado. Here’s a few pointers on driver etiquette.

Lights – Now listen here, if you’re driving in the dark you have to know when to dim your lights. If you don’t, then I’m imposing an after-dark driving curfew on you. If you’re driving towards an oncoming car, dim your lights. If you’re driving close behind another car, dim your lights. Now isn’t that nice and simple? Not doing this will result in me being blinded by your ignorantly bright lights, shouting abusive things and subsequently driving into a ditch. And we don’t want that.

Indicators – Indicators are not a new invention, yet so many people seem completely unfamiliar with using them. If you don’t indicate to let me know where you’re going, then I’m probably going to assume you’re not going the same way as I am and accidentally crash into you. Always indicate so I know where you’re going. Simples.

Motorway Driving:

I know motorways are a bit of a new concept for Irish people. We’re not long after the famine and we’re used to country roads where you are likely to be held up by cattle crossing. However, like it or not, motorways are here to stay and we need to learn how to drive on them properly.

1) Speed – There are certain instances where it is actually more dangerous to drive slowly than it is to drive fast. An example of this is on the motorway. If you’re driving at 50 km/h on the motorway, and I’m driving along at 120 km/h, not knowing you are around the corner, then that’s dangerous. Stop driving so slow.

2) Lanes – There are two lanes on a motorway; the left hand lane is for driving, the right hand lane is for passing out. If you are driving slowly in the right hand lane, you are being an arsehole. Into the left lane with you and don’t let me see you in the fast lane again, you hear?

But most of all:

Be sound to other drivers – Being sound is the easiest way to not be an arsehole. My house in college is located on a busy road with a very small driveway that means I have to reverse out on to that busy road. There are also traffic lights on this road. All these things equate to making it near impossible to get out of my house. On a busy day, the only way I can get out is if some kind soul lets me out, instead of putting their foot down on the accelerator and going hell for leather through the lights. Go on, be sound and let somebody out in front of you every now and again.

So let’s make a deal; I’ll try not to crash into you, if you try not to crash into me. That sound good?

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One thought on “A Lesson in Driver Etiquette: How not to be an arsehole on the roads

  1. Pingback: Very Inspiring Blogger Award | Pretty Purple Polka Dots

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